'My friends have really cool plants. They sell me the cool trimmings sometimes.'

'Give Dad a break. Literally. Purchasing this gift will mean that within 24 hours, I will book and leave for a x3 day vacation at My favourite Scottish highlands log cabin, on My favourite beach. '

'Can't think with knotthoughts on the brain.'

'Mid-huff? Silly pig.'

'Silly tikes don't think, duh. They stink.'

'There's a good girl.'

'Sinking lower and fuckin' lower.'

'Got the urge? Good piggy.'

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'Obedience isn't optional, it's mandatory.'

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'Giving is obedience. Get Worse™.'